Really, how hard should it be to find such a thing? I went shopping with a friend this weekend, and all we found were stupid, heavy metal, ’80s holdovers. This town loves its hard rock.

But then I spent more time poring over the phone book, looking for vintage-friendly stores, and I did find a few places with websites that informed me they were likely to have the kind of instrument I’m looking for.

The problem is that the more you learn about this kind of thing, the less likely you are to be happy with what you end up buying. Fender has made Telecasters for a number of decades, now. Some are considered more desirable than others. Some are made in America, some in Mexico, some in Japan. Some have this kind of wood for the body and some have that kind. There are different kinds of pickups and different woods for the necks. All of these things, “they” say, have an effect upon the quality of the sound.

I just want to tell “them”: “Look, I had this dream, which I’ve chosen to interpret as a message to buy a guitar and amp, and now I’d like a sunburst Telecaster like the one pictured over there to the left. You see, I’d like an instrument where the wood from which it’s made is visible through the finish. Yes, I know it’s an electrical device that produces processed sounds, but call me a romantic: I want to see the wood. I’m not looking to make an investment. I don’t want to obsess over this and make the purchase more important than the creative process it’s meant to faciliate. Just show my your selection of Telecasters, please.”

Sure, they’re right over here.

“Thank you.”

Now what kind of amp are you looking for?

“!!!”