oops

You might remember that the U.S. State Department announced some good news on April 29:

We … saw the lowest number of international terrorist attacks [in 2003] since 1969, and that’s a 34-year low.
There were 190 acts of international terrorism in 2003. That’s a slight decrease from 198 attacks that occurred the previous year, and a drop of 45 percent from the 2001 level of 346 attacks.

Well, it turns out that the report might need to be adjusted just a tad bit. But it’s nothing major. No need to get worked up. You see – funny story, you’re gonna chuckle when you hear this – there was actually a “sharp increase” in terrorist attacks in 2003.

Now, it’s true that Deputy Secretary of State Richard Armitage said at the time that the April 29 report demonstrated that the U.S. and its allies in the war on terror were “successfully waging this campaign.” However, only the Bush-hating, blame-America-first crowd would dare to suggest that the sharp increase in terrorist activity should be taken as a sign that the campaign is not going well. As Secretary of State Colin Powell wisely stated, “The president has made it clear that it is a war that continues and that we have to redouble our efforts.”

It may look to the untrained eye that the president has no idea what he’s doing. Yeah, he’s incompetent, all right. Incompetent like a fox! Don’t you see? He’s lulling the evildoers into a false sense of complacency. By letting them kill and maim people, and destroy property, and spread fear, the president is drawing them out into the open, where they can more easily be apprehended, making the world safer for you and me.

So just to be on the safe side, go ahead and vote for him in November. If you think the “sharp increase” in 2003 was impressive, just wait until you see next year’s figures for 2004!

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