The difficulty I have is writing about what I’m feeling without seeming melodramatic, but saying something is better than saying nothing. Here goes. Eve Sedgwick captures the feeling when she writes that what she fears from depression is
I may stop knowing
how to like and desire
the world around me.
Regarding a previous post, Heidi asks, “What does traction feel like, vs. drifting?” Traction feels like caring about something, like motivation, like hope in a future outcome more desirable than the present situation. I currently don’t have any of that.
Denise asks, “Why not create something that provides the traction that you need rather than waiting for it to come to you?” And the answer is, Because right now I have no idea how to do that. But rather than stay in my living room 24/7, I’m doing my best to go out and do things in hopes of finding something.
Here’s an open call for suggestions: I will do the first five things that are suggested from the first five people to post comments to this entry. Seriously.