walking into a bar: a contest proposal

Over lunch recently, Jeff mentioned the joke behind the title of Lynne Trusse’s book Eats, Shoots and Leaves, which goes a little something like this:

A panda bear walks into a bar and orders lunch. He sits quietly munching his food, and after he finishes he wipes his mouth with his napkin, pulls out a gun, fires into the ceiling and walks out.

“What was that all about?” the bartender asks the waiter.

“Oh, that’s what a panda bear does. Eats, shoots and leaves.”

(Obviously, this joke really only works when it’s spoken: “eats, shoots and leaves” sounds just like “eats shoots and leaves.”)

Later in the week, as we were talking about this joke and others of the [fill-in-the-blank]-walks-into-a-bar genre, I said that it seems to me that people don’t really tell jokes so much anymore. I proposed a contest, or party game, in which people challenged each other with the front end of a joke, requiring the other participant to complete the joke. Whoever could do so in the shortest amount of time would win.

Jeff proposed, “A panda bear, a fox, and a gorilla walk into a bar.”

I proposed, “A three-legged sled dog walks into a bar.”

So, can you finish these jokes?

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super bowl sunday

Yawn. Oh, I’m sorry, was there something on television today?

It’s not that I don’t appreciate the strategy involved in football or the visceral thrill of the game.

I just don’t care. Not. one. little. bit. Why not? Who knows? Family influence? My dad lettered in marksmanship in college, and football on the tv was never a part of our household. I played baseball and soccer in elementary school, and then ran cross country one season in high school. Otherwise, I was too busy doing something else. Then, as now, music, books, and computers were a much bigger part of my life than sports, professional or otherwise.

But still, I can appreciate the importance of today’s game. May the best team get the most home runs.

Kidding! I’m just kidding!

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links, no comments

From the Technology and Bibliography department, via Slashdot: Remote-Controlled Robot Could Browse the Stacks.

From the Academic Blogger Attempts to Demonstrate He’s Still Hip department: Cat Power is on tour in December. Well, Chan Marshall solo, anyway. Pitchforkmedia writes it up. Hilarity ensues.

From same department as above: Frank Black and the Catholics make four songs available exclusively on iTunes. However, no one will confirm if a Pixies’ reunion is in the works for next summer.

From the Academics Who Like to Read Things that Upset Them department: Michael BÈrubÈ writes about “Standards of Reason in the Classroom” in the Chronicle of Higher Education, and Erin O’Connor, and others, take issue with what they see as his profiling of conservative students as mentally handicapped. Now, new life has been breathed into BÈrubÈ’s website, which is starting suspiciously to look like a blog, though he continues to claim it’s not.

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