…George Williams is not Keith Richards, according to sources close to the professor / amateur-musician / former-hack-music journalist. These sources assert that several key pieces of evidence support this claim.
|Born in the ’60s||Born in the ’40s|
|Hones his guitar playing skills by listening to Rolling Stones CDs while working out on an elliptical trainer.||Honed his guitar playing skills by playing Rolling Stones songs after shooting heroin and drinking massive quantities of whiskey.|
|Says “ow” a lot when trying to learn the surprisingly difficult guitar parts to “Beast of Burden”||Not known to say “ow.”|
|Has taught graduate seminar on print culture and literature in eighteenth-century Britain.||Data unavailable.|
Well, duh. Of course you’re not Keith Richards. You’re Pete Townshend. totally different.
(although I’m not sure if Pete Townshend is known to say “ow” either).
Ow….you sure he’s Townsend?! Wasn’t Townsend put on a sex offender list recently or something?
Er, yes, he was involved in a rather unpleasant scandal.